Movie Props & Critics: YANKEE GIRLS AND THE RETURN OF THE YANKEE GIRLS

YANKEE GIRLS AND THE RETURN OF THE YANKEE GIRLS

Starring Omotola Jalade Ekeinde, Rita Dominic, Stella Damascus, Emeka Nwafor, Uche Elendu, Uche Obodo

Director: Moses Ebere Producer: Arinze Egesimba

Like most Nollywood movies these days, you can deduce that “the return” is the part 3 and 4 of the original movie. This movie revolves around the lives of two big girls battling for power and oil contracts. The major stars are Rita Dominic, Omotola Jalade Ekeinde and Stella Damascus. Stella however, was not brought into play until The Return Of The Yankee Girls.

See The Trailer here

Being a girl who absolutely loves glamour, one reason I was interested in the movie was because I expected to see the best of the best in fashion, and I was not disappointed. Again like all Nollywood films, the actresses tried to do outdo themselves and with the likes of Rita and Omotola, there was a lot of fashion, glitz and glamour as expected. This however, is the only reason I would advice any one to see this movie as the rest of it was sham. For the guys, you might be interested in the fleet of cars that were put on display, although personally I think you should be used to them cars by now. You might also just enjoy the sights of beautiful women on display and one scene you should especially watch out for is that of Omotola breaking a Hummer windshield with an axe and in the shortest of shorts. I must say Omotola really is looking fit now and is utterly sexy.

Back to the movie; Why 3 beautiful actresses would come together in a film as stupid and as disjointed as Yankee Gals is lost on me. The title is, as we used to say back in the day, “O.P” as in off point. The only thing Yankee about the movie were the dejected white people in it, of which one of them am sure is Lebanese and I could hardly make out what he was saying. Don’t get me wrong, there was a story, the Director was just too *%&$#$ (lack of words to use) to put the scenes together. The movie is a drag; it takes up about 3 hours of pointless time. The Yankee girls were basically the introduction that managed to contain 2 discs. Nollywood, a word of advice, you can have parts but at least have enough sensible stories to make up for your parts and sequels. Maybe the strategy was to make the film so disjointed, that you would only have to watch it to understand because no one can relate the story.

Every single scene had a problem. First, what was with the meaningless and totally impossible show of power by having road blocks on the busy streets of Lagos and shootings that were uncalled for? Anyway maybe anything is possible in Lagos. Most importantly, Nollywood movies should NOT, under any circumstance, involve SHOOTINGS, not yet, maybe never. There were a few laughs; a scene involving “supposed” seductive dancing, a Cuban cigar that was held (and put in mouth) but never lit, then the “mean looking man” that appears and disappears in the black suit? Exactly what was his purpose again? To shoot at a woman that every one knew could not be shot at? Oh and if you want to shop privately in a boutique, call the manager before you get there and save yourself and others the embarrassment. Even dumb and richer Paris Hilton has enough sense to do that.

The big question, should you see this movie? Generally and personally a big capital N-O. But if you are feeling too rich with yourself, then hey, knock yourself out. There are a few good things though, for one, there was good acting, of course. There were some funny scenes and lets not forget ladies, FASHION at one of its best.

As far as ratings go, 4 out of 10, 2 for fashion, 1 for acting, ½ for cars and ½ for the storyline which came up to remind you of itself once in a while. This movie was not properly executed. The storyline itself isn’t worth movie recognition. Plus, the directing was totally poor. Hey guess what? There’s more. Watch out for YANKEE BOYS. Lol. No, seriously, Jim Iyke, Ramsey Noah and Emeka Ike.

Post By Onome Umukoro

BILLIONAIRE BAIL-OUT?

A lot of movies in Hollywood bank over $100 million at the box office, in fact in America, a movie is considered a flop if it earns any less. i pondered why even the biggest Nollywood movies can't even boast of N15 million (about $125,000), then it occurred to me that most Hollywood movies are Big Budget movies that are financed by the richest people in America. These filthy rich moguls invest in movie production like they invest in major money making ventures like real estate and oil so why shouldn't the get their money back. One of the most successful producers of all time, Jerry Bruckheimer has been nicknamed "Mr. Blockbuster", due to his track record of commercially successful, high-grossing films like Beverly Hills Cop, Top Gun, The Rock, Con Air, Crimson Tide, Armageddon, Enemy of the State, Gone in Sixty Seconds, Black Hawk Down, Pearl Harbor, Pirates of the Caribbean, King Arthur, and National Treasure.. Overall, his films have brought in over $13 billion to Hollywood, and have launched the careers of numerous actors and directors. I bet it's the huge amount invested that propels the filmmakers to make brilliant and well crafted movies because if the audience don't dig your movie then Shylock will definitely have his pound of flesh. We are the 5th largest oil producing nation and there are people with very deep pockets in Nigeria. Oh! You don't believe me? Check this out

here are the names of Naija's top 10 richest people according to Encomium Magazine.

1. Mike Adenuga - $6billion (Globacom)
2. Aliko Dangote - $4billion (Business man)
3. Femi Otedola - $3.5billion (Business man)
4. Jim Ovia - $2.3billion(CEO Zenith Bank)
5. Cecilia Ibru - $1.2billion (CEO Oceanic Bank)
6. Oba Otudeko - $1billion
7. Rasak Okoya - $300million (Business man - Shade's other half)
8. Sonny Odogwu - $260millin
9. Bode Akindele - $230million (Business man - Tiffany Amber's father)
10. Emmanuel Ojei - $165million

I bet if any of these people can invest in Nollywood, it will keep the director or producer on his toes because he knows he has to make credible movies to make back the capital and profit for the investor. This will definitely stop the entire sub-standard straight to video crap we make in Nigeria. These Moguls can even build cinemas and create proper marketing channels to protect their investment. I know it's not going to be easy with the greedy nature of the movie practitioners but Dangote has major factories all over the country with his own marketing channels. Why didn't he leave the distribution in the hands of "ALABA BOYS"? That's because there's too much money to be made and if this works for spaghetti, think about what he can achieve with Nollywood whose fan base despite the crap they produce is the Largest in Africa. Please guys, save Nollywood and don't let these present producers kill us with crap.

OBAMA IN NOLLYWOOD ?

WITH a historic victory in the polls recently of Barrack Obama to become the first black president in the United States, Nollywood producers are trying desperately to outwit themselves on who comes out with the first Obama home movie.

While the wise ones that have been following the campaign train of the American President-elect are almost through with their scripts and looking for funds, the less creative ones, having woken from their slumber, have been contacting scriptwriters to come out with any script that would showcase the now very popular Obama spirit of I can. What we could not ascertain are the titles of the movies which the producers are keeping a secret as that, they believe, holds the key to making sales.
We are using this medium to appeal to these producers to please spare us this ridicle. we have never produced a decent movie about any of our past leaders or cultural icons (except for few movies like SANGO), why should we embarass ourselves with this cheap publicity stunt.

It is likely that one of the movies will be released before Obama is sworn in as president next year. Imagine a movie shot & produced in less than 3 months. I think you have an idea of what a big disgrace this movie will be. I wonder who they'll hire to play Obama? i guess Saint Obi or Clem Ohameze. Nollyarns will keep you posted.

MONEY,MONEY,MONEY... IS THAT ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IN NOLLYWOOD?

Politics and controversies have surfaced between the organizers of the “Face of Nollywood” competition and Mr. Ejike Asiegbu, current president of the Actors Guild of Nigeria (AGN), concerning issues of ownership of rights to the event. This is a perfect example of the "greed" problem facing the Nigerian movie industy
This grand finale of the competition is billed to hold at the International Conference Centre, Abuja tomorrow.

Before now, ten finalists have been selected in an internet poll conducted by Potech Ltd on behalf of Total Television Studios, run by Messrs Chike Brian and Ifanyi Ikpoenyi, both Nollywood practitioners. I can't help but wonder who actually voted for these people beacause the publicity itself was weak just like any average Nigerian movie.
Shortlisted actors/ actresses are

Stella Damasus
Patience Ozokwo.
Genevieve Nnaji,
Saheed Balogun,
Ramsey Noah Jnr
Bukky Wright,
Emeka Ike
Kanayo O. Kanayo,
Ini Edo,
Richard Mofe Damijo.
In a rather strange twist, Mr. Asiegbu has moved swiftly to scuttle the event claiming that the organizers infringed on his rights as the original owner of the brand's trademark. I wonder if the main purpose of this competition is to develop and generate interest in the Nigerian movie industry or to generate funds into private pockets. why the politics? can't we just put creativity first and stop celebrating mediocrity.

STEPHANIE OKEREKE "STEPS-UP" HER GAME

Actress Stephanie Okereke launched her new movie ‘Through The Glass’ at the Silver Screen Theatre of the Pacific Design Centre in Hollywood, California some weeks ago.
It was a great day for the Nollywood star as she also received an Award of Recognition from the California Legislature Assembly and launched her clothing line ‘The SO Collection’. Stephanie graduated from the ‘New York Film Academy’ and this is her first self-produced commercially released movie.
Her new movie tells the story of a playboy who finds himself suddenly saddled with a baby, he then seeks the help of his Nigerian neighbour (Stephanie Okereke). The two find themselves falling for each other amid various hijinks. It stars Garreth Mckerchnie with Stephanie Okereke, Cheyenne Christenson, Brion Rose, Ranier L. Kenny, Geno Giordian, among others. Don't wanna sound pessimistic so i think i'll actually watch this movie before i make any comments, let's just hope they get it right this time
http://www.bellanaija.com/2008/11/02/stephanie-okereke-premieres-through-the-glass

EMEKA MBA'S "PLAY OR PAY" PLAN. WILL IT WORK?

Emeka Mba (the Director-General of the National Film and Video Censors Board) was ordering cinema houses in Nigeria (Silverbird, Nu-Metro, City Mall, etc.) to show Nigerian films or be fined in a stupid move called “play or pay”. Now isn’t that the daftest thing I ever heard. The guy is actually trying to force people to watch Nolly as it is. Instead of finding ways to make the films better, he is actually trying to make the crap we produce more popular. They even went to Cannes Film Festival in France a couple of years back, to do what? I don’t know. From what I heard they apologized to the small audiences through all their screenings. Now tell me if it wouldn’t have been a better move to tell filmmakers that if they met a certain standard, their films would be screened at the cinemas. That would have made many of them serious and that would have improved the quality of the films they make. His silly order was issued 2 years ago, If it had been to film makers I guarantee we will be writing different stuff here.

Thinking the major problem plaguing Nollywood is the distribution is plain silly, Can you confidently try to push sales of unclean pure water instead of just making it more suitable for drinking? Well, that is exactly what’s going on here, because the product being sold is not good enough for local consumption, talk less of exportation. Just like what happened to the banks, introducing standards is the best bet. Nu-metro cinemas are gonna start the premiere of Nigerian movies. Let's see how that turns out.

is AMAZING GRACE an AMAZINGLY DISGRACEFUL movie?

According to polls conducted on our facebook group " we need a revolution in Nollywood", 60% of the participants voted that the 2006 Jeta Amata masterpiece which starred actors like Nick Moran, Scott Cleverdon, Mbong Odungide and Joke Silva was a step in the right direction but does not quite hit the mark. Despite the brave reviews the movie received upon release, audiences still feel that the producers could have done a lot better with the storyline which was porous compared to Micheal Apted's AMAZING GRACE (2007) with actors like Ioan Gruffudd and Romola Garai. The Hollywood Amazing Grace movie was probably under development for a longer time, which means they started the production way before the Nigerian version. who knows, they could sue the Amatas.

Nollywood, quest for consolidation

Nollywood, quest for consolidation

By Steve Ayorinde

Published: Thursday, 28 Aug 2008

The controversy trailing the introduction of the new distribution framework for the Nigerian film industry should spur a healthy debate about the financial health of the sector.

The word that is now associated with the man behind the rumble, Emeka Mba, the Director-General of the National Film and Video Censors Board, is reform. I think the appropriate word should be consolidation. Considering the bigger picture, what is at stake is the financial health of this giant industry that is not quite acting its age. Since March 2007 when he took up the gauntlet for a good cause, Mba aim had sought primarily to encourage an industry that must be relentlessly open about its financial stature.

Rather than have as many mushroom film marketers as we do producers, the new distribution framework had devised a new regime of registration for a five-year licence for those that wish to operate on a national scale. But in so doing, it requires an evidence of seriousness or financial capability to the tune of N30m, either individually or as a group. Such evidence, in recognisable business sense, could be in assets, equipment, et cetera. A marketer could also produce evidence of an insurance bond for the remainder of the amount or the whole N30m. The sense in it, as I understand it, is to first appreciate the distribution arm of film production as the engine room of its economic mainstay, and then strengthen it in order to forestall the distant nightmare that may be the consequence of a profuse, unrestrained industry.

The vision from the Censors Board, I reckon, is to save Nollywood from the impending danger where there are more movies, mostly sub-standard, than capable distributors in a market that is not necessarily expanding. The template that Mba seems to be adopting is similar to his kinsman’s, the Governor of Central Bank of Nigeria , Prof. Chukwuma Soludo, during the banking sector consolidation in 2006.

The familiar success story of the banking sector consolidation programme was, of course, necessitated by the pervasive weakness and uncertainty in the banking system, and the need to re-engineer and fast-track a system that will engender confidence and power a new economy. The way Soludo pruned down the number of banks from 89 to 25 and raised the stakes for investors and borrowers is, in a way, analogous to what Mba craves for Nollywood – foster the development of a healthy industry that can regurgitate production and partner with financial institutions .

The initial eruption of opposition to the framework was expected. Just like the initial opposition to the banking consolidation, where critics later turned ardent supporters of the exercise, the framework, if diligently implemented, may soon win over its adversaries. It should dawn soon that the Keynesian theory that worked for the banking sector applies to the business of film in the sense that money can stimulate expansion in aggregate domestic output.

The argument that unlike banks, film marketers and distributors do not hold public money in trust, and therefore should not be required to conform to government’s idea of reform, lacks merit. Firstly, an institution such as the Nigerian Stock Exchange though may operate outside of government’s confines, its functions are subject to regulations and even direct government intervention as we are currently witnessing with the downward trend in the capital market. Such an argument reinforces the weak excuse that since government has minimal involvement in the operations of the music, visual and literary sectors, the motion picture should also be left out of government’s purview. What should be appreciated is not just the law backing the Censors Board’s foray into film regulation, but also the importance attached to the 7th Art (Cinema) the world over.

The price of consolidation in the film industry is worth paying when the arithmetic involved is considered. With almost 2,000 moves released yearly on an average budget of N2.5m, we have a sector that invests not less than N5bn into production alone. If distribution per film is averagedly around 20,000 copies at about N300 per unit of a video compact disc (without cinema/box office releases for a few films) we are talking about an industry where N6bn was generated from sales in 2007 alone. Such an industry cannot be left to conjectures of panicky marketers alone.

I may subscribe to the idea of regional distributors, which in the banking sense will be like the micro-finance banks. But the gains of a fewer, solid, national distributors will be seen in fewer, quarterly movies that can earn money on a national as indeed global scale

Nollywood movies can be best described as movies that their narrative is overdramatic, deprived of happy endings, tragic. The aesthetic is loud, violent, excessive; nothing is said, everything is shouted.